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Saturday, December 03, 2005

15 Signs Your Church Has Sold Out To Corporate Sponsors

Nike_1Props to Ian's Messy Desk for this one!

  1. Nike "swoosh" on the cross
  2. Communion now sponsored by Welch's Grape Juice
  3. In Christmas play, Joseph seen with a pack of Marlboros
  4. Statue of Mary seen holding keys to a Jeep
  5. The 12 disciples replaced by Disney characters
  6. Greeters all dressed like Mr. Goodwrench
  7. Scripture verses brought to you by Microsoft
  8. The holy water font has Perrier
  9. Offering envelopes say, "Weekly expenses, $6,200, projection unit for Sunday School, $1,400, Basketball hoop for the gym, $250, regular tithing, priceless.
  10. Handicap parking sponsored by the Family Medical Group, LLC
  11. Bulletin has coupon section
  12. Wednesday night suppers sponsored by KFC
  13. Church bell chimes to the tune of the NBC chimes
  14. Choir robes with the Lands' End logo on the front
  15. Church flag football team sponsored by the NFL

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December 3, 2005 in Humor | Permalink

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Comments

I love it when Christian folks take a little time to poke fun at their family members. It saves the "outsiders" from getting the first swipes and helps to dislodge the natural hubris that seems to afflict all of us. I tell my kids we need to learn to laugh at ourself; others are gonna do that anyway and we might as well join in since it's more fun that way. (And I have a special place in my heart for good satire). Thanks!

Posted by: Dean | Dec 5, 2005 6:58:36 AM

I loved them man.. I am taking them to my pastor to read for Sundany

Posted by: Evangelist Jeff | Dec 5, 2005 9:11:01 AM

16. Church softball league sponcered by Redman

17. Church seats provided by Lazyboy

18. Prayer walking sponsered by Adidas

Posted by: drbob | Dec 5, 2005 1:34:45 PM

you might add to your list a coffee area featuring Starbucks.

Posted by: Jennings Hamilton | Dec 19, 2005 9:52:37 AM

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